November 16, 2007 News that Marcus Nispel is directing the "Friday the 13th" remake makes this upcoming release more tangible. Yes, it's really happening. Just about every classic horror film I was obsessed in in 1980 is being remade in the 2000s: "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," "Dawn of the Dead," "Halloween", "The Hills Have Eyes" and "Friday the 13th." Everytime a remake comes out, it slaughters the box office.
It's depressing in a way, because as fans of these original films, I liked to imagine they were canon. I wanted "Halloween 9" instead of "Halloween: The Remake." But it's forgiveable when the remake is actually good and changes things enough to make the film different. "Dawn of the Dead" is a good example. The DOTD remake is not so much a retelling as a totally separate and distinct zombie film that just happens to have the same title. "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" comes across as a distinct adaptation of the same supposedly "true" story from Texas. That makes it work in a weird way. "The Hills Have Eyes" was actually closer to the original, but it also cranked things up considerably. A different movie to be sure.
So now the director of the TCM redo is doing the "Friday" redo -- and canon is being thrown completely to the wind. Well, I know all of us will be first in line to see it, but once again, I have to complain about the lack of originality of the studios. The "Halloween" remake, especially, was nightmarishly bad -- but it made lots and lots of money. "Friday" doesn't need a remake just like "Halloween" didn't need one. But since they're making it, it has to adhere to some principles:
- Gore. It can't wimp out here. What set the "Friday" series apart from the "Halloween" series in the beginning was the gore factor.
- Timeframe. Like TCM, which was set in the 1970s, this film should be set in the 1980s.
- Jason must not die.
- At least adhere to canon to a certain extent. "Freddy vs. Jason" only came out a few years ago for crying out loud.
In any case, we'll all be in line when it hit screens and, given the director, I'm sure it will be good. But I for one hope the studios can quit milking ancient trademarks by remaking iconic slasher films and do something original.
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