Black Christmas 2006 (2006)
Directed by Glen Morgan

Starring Katie Cassidy Michelle Trachtenberg

One of the worst theatrical horror releases of recent memory, the "Black Christmas" remake epitomized just how moribund the genre had become in 2006. Horribly written and directed, loaded with idiotic gore scenes (mostly involving eyeballs being gouged out of peopleís skulls), and suffering from severe lapses of logic, "Black Christmas," the remake, is so inferior to the original it has perhaps made history.

Horror remakes like 2003ís "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and 2006ís "Hills Have Eyes" actually managed to update, modernize and reimagine the original tales without somehow violating their legacy. But from its opening scenes in an asylum for the criminally insane, where inmate "Billy" (a character named after the psycho from the first film) easily escapes by killing off a man in a santa suit that just happens to be visiting the facility at the time , you realize that the new "Black Christmas" is trying to play itself for laughs, but doesnít quite manage to achieve even its less-than-lofty camp-humor goals.

The inmate leaves and is apparently not even pursued by police as he returns to the former home where he killed his mother: Now a sorority house. Inside, several uber-hot sorority sisters sit around on a couch, drinking wine, waiting for him to make crank calls from the cell phones of his dead victims. They all just happen to be around the house for the Christmas holidays. Thereís a "twist" involving the existence of a second killer you can see about a million miles out, so itís not much of a spoiler to reveal it.

Lifeless, flat characters, ludicrous gore scenes (mostly involving the killerís miraculous ability to gouge peopleís eyes out so he can then eat them), and an absolutely brain dead climax in a hospital make this a radically lame departure from the classic original, which featured great characters, realistic killings and genuinely chilling crank calls. In fact, the crank calls were the scariest thing about the original.

Ugh. While it was made by the director of the "Willard" remake, which was actually pretty good, the film is sadly one of the worst things to hit big screens in possibly half a decade. The one previous film theatrical release that was probably worse was "Urban Legends: Final Cut" which came out six years earlier.

The release of "Black Christmas" marked a black day for cineplexes everywhere.

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-- Review by Lucius Gore


Posted by Ron Ferrell on December 25, 2007
I didn't think the remake was bad at all. As a matter of fact I saw it before I checked out the original .

Posted by sheshere on January 6, 2008
I thought this movie was unexpectedly good. Definately worth watching.

Posted by David D on January 9, 2008
As a remake this is beyond horrible and completely uncalled for...but if you watch it as a low grade slasher film it's not bad. Being a huge fan of the original, a true horror classic, I will be referring to this as "Girls School Christmas Slaughter". A much more fitting title.

Posted by Randy Hall on January 14, 2008
Again another bad comment by one of the most horrible movie critics alive. this is a good movie. Not one to show the kids though. they will have nightmares about it forever. But its also a bonus. they will keep away from the attic.

Posted by David D on January 14, 2008
I write a couple of sentences here and suddenly i'm the worst movie critic ever? Wow dude, you have a serious case of SAND IN YOUR VAGINA. Isn't the purpose of this forum for preople to express their opions? Or is it only ok if we agree with you Randy?

Posted by on September 28, 2008
just the news of this remake upset me the orginal BC was a proto slasher masterpiece. the new one pretty much raped every great aspect of the original. as a stand alone movie its only really worth seeing for the chicks and maybe a gore scene here and there. totally indicates the quckly crumblng movie industry

Posted by DеинсталлятоR on May 3, 2011

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