Storm Warning (2008)
Directed by Jamie Blanks

Starring David Lyons John Brumpton Mathew Wilkinson Nadia Fares Robert Taylor

Once again, for the second time in 2008, an attack dog eats a man's penis, in "Storm Warning."

We saw it the first time in "Teeth." Now, the same kind of attack dog (possibly even the same dog) goes for the gold in this Aussie "torture porn" film about a nice yuppie couple who get lost at sea, wearing nothing but wetsuits, while fishing, and wind up near the home of some pot-growing Aussie rednecks two young men with bad teeth, led by a wino father with even worse teeth.

The rednecks, it turns out, are demented sadists as all rednecks are in this movie and take pleasure in making the couple cook them dinner and then serve it before they inevitably start focusing on the wife, played by French actress Nadia Fares. After her husband is badly injured by their kidnappers, it's left up to her to become a ruthless weapon of emasculating mass destruction if the two of them are to have any hope of survival.

Given how mild "Urban Legend" was, it's surprising that this film came from the same director. But despite some gruesome NC-17 level gore all of which is inflicted by the wife on the three Aussie pot growers the film still manages to be somewhat politically correct, leaving everything up to a woman to fix when her husband is left a cripple. Fortunately, the rednecks lock her and her husband up in a tool shed all night, giving her plenty of time to assemble a unique male-maiming device along with other weapons.

The film does actually have a somewhat thoughtful screenplay by Everett De Roche. When the film opens we learn that the husband is a lawyer who had dropped a prosecution against someone clearly guilty of a crime, because it seemed practical to do so. His wife disagreed. As the events unfold for them, the moral message of the film is pretty clear: Don't tolerate evil, even one iota of it, or it might come back at you. In fact, it might come back at you so strong that your wife will need to start castrating guys and feeding their private parts to attack dogs.

The film only consists of a cast of five, and everyone in the cast puts in a good performance. John Brumpton is particularly good as the drunken, abusive patriarch, who continues to dominate his two sons into his old age.

All in all, a pretty solid fear film that's worth a rental for sure.

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-- Review by Lucius Gore

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